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The Tandem Metaphor

Matching the unity of a tandem bicycle is what marriage is all about!


"Haven't you read, that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

- Matthew 19:4-6

If you were to watch an experienced couple riding a tandem bicycle, you would be in awe. Their graceful technique, elegant style and oneness, are truly something to behold. As they ride, they match each other perfectly, pedal stroke for pedal stroke. It’s as if they can move forward effortlessly at high speeds without tiring.

​As you watch them closely, they appear to communicate almost telepathically together about turns, stops and obstacles on the road they need to avoid. They are in complete synchronization showing togetherness, trust, faith, and commitment to each other. While each rider has their own duties and responsibilities on the bike, they are clearly working as one.

​This tandem riding metaphor has many parallels to marriage showing the need to work together as couples in a true partnership. The metaphor starts with the bike frame itself representing an inseparable union of two people. God has asked us to show this exact kind of unity in our marriages. We ultimately are to become one with each other by submitting to the success of our marriage rather than the success of ourselves.

​Imagine if one of the two tandem riders were to do their own thing while riding. This independent spirit would completely disrupt the flow of the ride that could lead to a serious crash. In addition, what if the two riders never communicated about direction? One could try to turn left at the same time the other turned right and they could miss the turn completely. It would appear at times to be like a pair of circus clowns comically working against each other.

​Unfortunately, that is how many of our marriages can be, but we don’t see our folly because we are too close to it to see the problem, or we simply do not have our marriage prioritized high enough to care. Others living around us, however, can see our lack of working together very clearly.

​By adopting a spirit of togetherness, we unite ourselves with God, family, friends and other couples to gain an advantage by leveraging their viewpoints, knowledge and experiences to benefit and improve our marriages.

​This is Living in Tandem!




​Living in Tandem challenges us to fully commit to God, each other and our close community of friends to properly equip ourselves for a successful married life. We can’t do it on our own, living on an island, and expect to succeed. At some point we all will need help. Therefore, we need to engage others and build a strong safety net of people around us to guide, encourage, and pick up us up when we struggle and fall. As the headwinds and up hills of life arrive, your safety net is the group of people that will come running to help.

​Who comes running to a couple on an island? Nobody!

​We believe couples Living in Tandem can survive, but most of all, thrive in a world that seems to be designed to pull couples apart due to the constant barrage of activities we can be involved in.

​These distractions, good or bad, cause exhaustion and chaos that most couples feel every day as a result of the intense bed to bed busy lifestyles they choose to endure. Couples Living in Tandem will make decisions based on the levels of workload and activity the family can realistically handle allowing them to live more freely and better rested.

​A couple that manages their schedules and the daily grind will have more time available to focus on creating adventures and lasting memories. These adventures and memories can be the shot in the arm you need when life turns upside down and your love for each other becomes a decision.

​Living in Tandem will show many ways to use the tools tandem riders rely on every day to be ready for managing your marriage and riding in the headwinds and uphills of life all while creating great adventures together. Married life is simply not possible to live in tailwind and effortless downhill situations all the time so you have to be fit for the challenges.

​You may be able to take a brief rest here and there in marriage, but you can never stop pedaling and coast!

​We’re not saying that you need to buy a tandem bicycle and start riding, we simply believe you should live your life day to day in a manner that the tandem metaphor defines.

​Practice the eleven concepts of Living in Tandem and set your marriage apart from our island living society and put it on a direct course toward forever!

​Many blessings,

​Dave and Sue



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